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NOW magazine - Brian's BB6 Column Week 1

15th June 2005

We've got Brian

The nation's favourite housemate ever gets his claws into Big Brother 6. This week he lays into Sam's lack of clothes and Anthony's hairy bum.

Whats in Sam's suitcase?

It's the same size as everyone else's but it seems Sam's only managed to pack three bikinis in hers. She's so bland that even the boys are starting to realise it. And the woman's beyond oversexed - she'd sleep with a broom!

It's only been a week and she's already moaning about not getting any action. Try being in there for nine weeks like I was, then come back and tell me about sexual frustration.

The appliance of Science

Science, Science, Science - what can I say? He isn't exactly growing on me. I find him annoying and immature, especially when he made out he didn't throw the bin at Maxwell. Of course he did! Derek told Science that he was a role model, but I want to know - to whom exactly?

Princess Makosi Rules

Makosi's my favourite at the moment. She's prissy, glamorous and the way she played her task proved what a good sport she is. I love the fact that the others are threatened by her because they can't work out why she didn't go when she got so many nominations. Her double bluff with Derek was excellent - he now thinks the public love her, which I suspect they actually do. The best row so far has to be the one between Makosi and Roberto, during which he told her to 'F***ovv!' He was so aggressive, but she just played up to being a princess who doesn't wash up! Classic.

Cat got your tongue?

When I heard that Vanessa was a friend of BB5's Marco I thought she'd be the kind of person that never shuts up. How wrong was I?! She needs to go to the Diary Room and ask Big Brother to give her back the power of speech.

She brings nothing to the house. The only time we saw the real Vanessa was when she had to wear the very fetching green outfit in the Diary Room. Even cry baby Craig doesn't seem able to coax a squeak out of her. She needs to either find her tongue or pack her bags.

Hair bear bunch

Anthony's the eye candy of the house, but I went off him a bit when he milked his entrance. He's sweet, but I get the feeling he's a bit of a himbo. His dance troupe need to fire him, too - he's rubbish! He also has the hairiest legs in the world. His back and chest are fine, so he must wax them, but what about his bum? Is that hairy as well, or does he wax it?

Fight the flab

I don't like Maxwell at all. He's foul-mouthed and just a cheap imitation of Bubble from my year. He's trying to be the clown all the time, but I think it's just an act he puts on because he thinks the funny people win.

I did feel a bit sorry for him when he had the scuffle with Science, though. He looked really vulnerable - not such a hard man when household objects are being thrown at his head!

He's competition for Lesley in the boob stakes and I love the fact that he has to undo his trousers when he sits down. Maxwell, please either do some exercise or put on a T-shirt and spare us all!

Bri's BB Barometer

(points to stormy)

Stormy! It was just fight, fight, fight from the moment they got in there - not in a funny way, but in a bulging vein kind of way. Quick, hide all the sharp objects!

LOVE BRIAN X

14 Jun 2005 by admin

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